warikoo Wanderings

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​My new book - Get Epic Shit Done - is now out. Get your copy here. ​
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IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

I have often said - the one job with the most material impact on the world - is parenting.
That's also surprisingly the job with the least amount of training available.
Almost everyone learns on the job.
But in the process, they might affect or influence a life forever, in a direction they didn't desire.

The truth is, children think that everything happening to them, is because of their parents.
Naturally, they are not mature enough or experienced enough to realize that 99% of the things that happen to us are not in our control or are because of our actions.

So imagine this complicated situation.
Parents are not trained to be parents. They are humans first. Flawed humans, as we all are.
They will make the same mistakes that everyone else will. They will be emotionally fragile, weak, distressed, unpredictable, and every other emotion that any ordinary human goes through.

BUT, the child thinks whatever that happens to them is their fault.

If the parents say 'Don't disturb me, I am busy', the child doesn't think 'Mom/Dad are busy and that's fine'.
Instead they think 'I am not worthy of love. There must be something wrong with me.'

If the parents shout at the kid, abuse them, beat them, the child doesn't think 'Mom/Dad must be stressed or maybe their parents treated them the same way and that's why they are doing it.'
Instead they think 'I must have done something wrong to deserve this.'

If the parents mock their kids in front of others or constantly compare them with other kids, the child doesn't think 'Mom/Dad must do this to elevate their status in society, because they have never had one.'
Instead they think 'I have to work harder to deserve their love and attention.'

It is crazy how our experiences with our parents shape up our entire life, almost outside of our control.
If we luck out, we get loving parents who are emotionally sound, stable and strong.
If we aren't as fortunate, we get the bad end of the stick.
And then we spend our entire life trying to blame ourselves for who we are.
Trying to reason with our own selves, while also undermining our potential.

Recognize that it is not your fault.
It was not your fault.
You can heal yourself.
You should heal yourself.
Absolve yourself of the blame.
Be free.
Finally.

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BOOK I AM READING THIS WEEK

Finished reading "Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Joseph Nguyen.
Quick read - must read.

Started reading Seinfeldia: How a Show About Nothing Changed Everything​
The book is about the mega hit TV show - Seinfeld. Not sure how many of you have ever seen it, or even heard about it. I grew up in my 20s with it. Much like FRIENDS, Seinfeld went on to define TV comedy for an entire generation, but the best part was that it was an aimless show. There was no agenda, no gripping story, no start, no end. It was just nothing.
So what worked? The book goes into the details.
I am enjoying it thoroughly :)

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QUOTES TO SHARE

Write a blog, play a musical instrument, volunteer for a cause, dance in the rain, or anything that helps you feel like a winner.
​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Life is all about trial and error; you never know which trial will be a success.
​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

You don’t become rich by working for money. You become rich by making money work for you.
​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION

Last week I asked you:

You just WON $300.
Which of these 2 options will you choose?
Option A: Spin a wheel with 50% chance of winning $300 and 50% chance of winning nothing.
Option B: Get $150 assured

Before I share the responses, it was CRAZY how many people thought I had mistakenly asked the same question.
NO - it was a different question. But we are in such a hurry to conclude and then to point out mistakes, that we don't stop and pause.
Such a brilliant test, not planned though!

Here are the results

WHAT???
Last week, I asked what would you do if you LOST $300. And most of you said - we will take the $150 assured. Which means most of us were risk averse. Because the loss hit us.
This week, I asked what would you do if you WON $300. And now most of you said - we will spin the wheel. Because hey - we have won something already and we have nothing to lose in this option. In fact we might just win another $300.
We become risk loving!

Isn't this fascinating?
The same options - but our loss/gain makes us take a risk or not.
And this is how we look at money as well.

When we win something, we are willing to take even more risk.
When we lose something, we are willing to cut our losses.

My answer:
I would spin the wheel for sure :))

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PICTURE OF THE WEEK

The Mumbai LIVE event was brilliant. 900+ people and their energy for 2+ hours!
This week is Bangalore and I am super pumped. And then on the 26th is Delhi.

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Which of these is true for you?

• On a daily basis, I text more than I talk
• On a daily basis, I talk more than I text

​Click here here to let me know your answer and check the answers of others too.

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CONTENT I SHARED THIS WEEK

Podcast:​
Failure doesn't exist | Haar asli nahi hai
​Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn, Gaana or YouTube.

YouTube:​
​ChatGPT: All you need to know​

Instagram:​
​The one decision of your life​

Twitter:
​10 books to read in your 20s​

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You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.
​(Teacher/manager ko din bhar unke peeth peeche gaaliyaan dene ki aur unke saamne pyaar se baat karne ki kasam)

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