​

warikoo Wanderings

You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn, or view it on the web.
You can view all previous newsletters here.

​

HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

Seeking help is the most fundamental way of learning.
When we think of seeking help, we mostly think of people.
But if we broaden the definition, it becomes obvious that we can seek help from anything. Books, videos, tools.

The key is "what are you seeking help for".

I am privileged to be in a spot where a lot of people reach out seeking help.
Over the last few years, here are some very avoidable mistakes I have regularly observed people make.

1. Ignoring the difference between knowledge, help and advice

Knowledge is what one needs to know. The basics. Something that today a focused google search can get you.
Help is what you seek when you are stuck. When you have attempted something and it isn’t working.
Help is what you need when you have NO IDEA what to do next and everything that is available as knowledge isn't helping.
So you have to now rely on experience and not just knowledge.

We seek knowledge when we are starting.
We seek help when we have attempted something.

Wrong way: I need help with how to write a resume.
(what you need is knowledge - around resume formats, common mistakes, dos and don'ts)
Right way: I have applied and gotten rejected at the resume stage itself.
Made changes and still nothing's happened. I need help.

Advice, on the other hand, is what we seek/need when we have to identify ways of doing something.
"I am confused between Economics or Math as my core subject. Do you have any advice here?"
Advice, imo, rests between knowledge and help.

When we get advice instead of help or help instead of advice, our needs are not met.
Knowing the difference is key to getting help.

2. Not knowing where you need help

Because most of us are confused between knowledge, help and advice - we rarely know where we need help.
So to cover all bases, we ask for generic help.
"I need your help on fundraising, team building and marketing" (actual email from yesterday!)

If you ask for generic help, you will get generic help.
That lacks insight and is full of platitude.
Best help is one that is specific.

Best help follows the CAR approach:
Context, Actions, Results
What is your context, what are the actions you took and what were the results (that perhaps didn't work).
You are stuck and hence need help.
This will lead you to the best books, videos, and people who can help you.

3. Being disrespectful of people’s time

The best way to get help, is to make it easy for people to help you.
Most people don’t do that.

“I want to be respectful of your time so will keep it short. I am confused about my career and don’t know what to do. Please help.” (email from yesterday)

"I am looking for help to connect me to investors. Attached is my business plan. Let me know of your feedback." (email from yesterday)
Both these examples lack empathy. They make it hard for people to help them.

Because in order to help them, they will have to spend time understanding the context, synthesizing it and then figuring how they can be of help.
Not something most people will do.

When seeking help, help them see how they can help.

4. Assuming on their behalf / being apologetic

No one wants to help those who start with “I am sorry for saying this but…” or those who say “this isn’t worth your time but I am giving it a shot.”

Do not assume on behalf of others. Do not undersell your need for help.

You need help and it is important for you.
So go ahead and ask in the best manner possible.
And if it is important for the other person, they will help.
If it isn't, they might not.
And that's ok too.
It isn't about you.

5. Not sharing progress​
Most people help because it makes them feel good about themselves.
I do it for that.
And nothing makes me happier, than to know that my help helped someone.
A common mistake people make, is to not return to those who helped you.

Reach out to those who helped you and tell them how much they helped you.
It completes the cycle of help and feeds the desire to help even more.

Seeking help is one of the most courageous and precious things we can do.
It ties in wonderfully with my biggest life lesson "If you do not ask, the answer is always no".
It is also an art. If you know how to seek help the right way, imagine the opportunities it creates for you.

It is unfortunate that this life skill is never taught to us formally.
This should be a core course in every school and college.
In the absence of it, we are left with no choice but to learn from doing.

So go ahead. Ask for help. Today.

​

BOOK I AM READING THIS WEEK

Finished WILL by Will Smith.
Quite amazing the life he has had. From a rapper winning the first ever Rap Grammy, to an immensely popular TV star, to the biggest movie star in the world (he claims to have the best streak of box office hits ever!).
And yet, a life of chaos, of self doubt, of setbacks, failures.

I love such stories.

Picked up another book "Just keep buying" by Nick Maggiulli.
The book is about proven ways to save money and build your wealth.
For someone starting to think of money, it is a good start. A little out of context, since the author is American. However, 80% of things would apply to anyone.
Selfishly, this is a good book around which a personal finance course can be launched. Maybe I will. Who knows :)

My book DO EPIC SHIT is now conclusively selling more in pirated versions than original (70% of all IG shares about the book are of the paperback version, which is pirated, since we only have a hardcover version right now). And that makes me happy - because I'd love any excuse for people to start reading :)
​You can buy an original copy of DO EPIC SHIT here.​

​

QUOTES TO SHARE

Anger's purpose is not to fix the unfulfilled need within you. It is simply to make you aware that there is an unfulfilled need within you.
​​(Share on Twitter)​​

Parenting: The toughest job in the world that no one is formally trained for.
​​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​

If you are waiting for success to share your failure story, you have not yet understood failure well.
​​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​

​

RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION

Last week I asked you:

Which of these superpowers would you want?

1. I can fly
2. I can become invisible
3. I can read minds
4. I can become any size I want

Here are the responses:

• Notice that the desire to fly increases with age. My sense is, because you are so caught up in your life and the world and its chaos, that the concept of being able to fly whenever you want to wherever you want, is mesmerizing.
• Becoming invisible is quite exciting when you are young. Stalking your crush, your ex, your friends. As you grow old you are like, "what the hell will I do with this power" lol!
• Reading minds is something that everyone wishes to do. However, as one grows old it becomes less of a desire. That's most likely because people realize they DO NOT want to subject themselves to the constant chatter. Their own minds are enough!

My response:
​I would 100% love the ability to fly. Nothing will ever beat that. And I would NEVER want to read anyone's mind. NO WAY!

​

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

Went to Mussoorie for a day, for a leadership talk. So much fun to be doing this again IRL :))

​

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

How often do you order outside food or go outside to eat?

1. More than once a day
2. Once a day
3. Few times a week
4. Few times a month
5. Don't order in or go out to eat

​​Click here to let me know your answer (anonymously)​​​​​

​

CONTENT I SHARED THIS WEEK

Podcast:​
Title of episode: Reflections
​Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn, Gaana or YouTube.

YouTube:​
Title of video: REITs explained!
​You can watch it here.​

Instagram:​
3 books introverts must read
​You can watch it here.​

Twitter:​
13 harsh truths about relationships
​You can read it here.​

​

You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.
​​​(Arijit Singh ki khoosurat awaaz ki kasam)

​

You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn, or view it on the web.